Nap time is a bit funny in the house. It is my official 'rest time' (which really just means work, of sort, on another dimension). It officially begins at 11:30 AM (Cynthia) and ends at either 2:30 (Cynthia again) or whenever Esther wakes (usually about 3:30), whichever is the latest.
It is a variable time because, with Esther, 'nap' is more of a concept than an actual practice. Halley's comet, it is not. 9 days out of 10, Esther doesn't sleep. She's in her room (behind the ever present baby gate, which will remain there until she's about 4 or has figured out how to open it). However, she usually spends the time playing and chatting to herself and her toys. Sometimes singing (her latest favorite song is '100 bottles of pop on the wall'). Always entertaining. I actually made several audio recordings of Esther's several naps for my mom (aka grandma Davis). She loved them.
However, the reason I am writing is not how my daughter spends her nap time. Rather, it is to point out the importance of patience.
We have been spending about the past year trying to potty train Esther. We've had some victories and she now wears underwear during her waking hours. The only times she 'does her business' in a place other than a toilet is either nap time or bedtime. For the latter, the reason is no doubt that she can't hold it all night. We encourage her to go 'potty' (btw, as a funny aside, when you have kids and start potty training, you would be shocked how many times you will use the word potty instead of toilet just in polite conversation) before she goes to bed. Sometimes she does. Sometimes not. Either way, often she still is wet in the morning. For this reason, she wears a diaper at night.
We did the same during nap time. Up until this week. You see, when she wore the diaper, she had no need to tell me that she needed to go to the bathroom. Even though she was wide awake, she would just go. In her diaper. Her ever so absorbent diaper. I have no problem changing diapers. It goes with parenting. However, it was a bit frustrating that she would refuse to go to the bathroom before naptime (hers is at 12:00). Then, after I left her in her room, she would say that she pooped at about 12:10. Hence, we decided to take away the diaper at nap time. We understood the risk. The last two days, she has pooped nicely before nap (as she understands the risk, too). However, instead of peeing before her nap, I have heard, in the monitor, "I am peeing". I rush upstairs and clean up the mess and change her pants, underwear, and socks. It's not like she doesn't know how to say, "I need to go potty". It's just that she chooses not to. It's okay. Just an understanding we have, I guess.
Flash forward to today.
After lunch, Esther sat on her toilet for about ten minutes before declaring that she couldn't go potty. At all. We went upstairs and I put her down for her nap. Monitor by side, I carried on doing whatever tasks I had to get done. Then, I heard a very calm voice say "I'm peeing". Praying silently that she wasn't in her bed, I went upstairs. Just pants, underwear, and socks. Changed them and went back downstairs. Still no poop, which is a much bigger mess in underwear.
As an aside, it's not like I am not frustrated by her peeing in her pants instead of the bathroom. I am. However, I try not to show it. Sometimes I'll mention to her that a big girl would go on the potty. But that's about it. Today I was quite glad about that.
About ten minutes after the peeing incident, I heard her calm voice say again, "I need go potty". I ran upstairs and brought her down. She pooped on the potty. YEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! Upon her inspection, she declared that her leavings 'looked like an elephant, with a trunk, tail, and eye'. Sure Esther. If you want to say it looks like a super model, go right ahead. As long as it looks that way in the potty.
The thing to learn from this is that, as it says in the Bible (Ephesians 6:4). Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Exasperate is also translated as provoke to anger. If I was visibly upset at Esther every time she peed herself at nap time, it would build up frustration in her to the point where she might never be comfortable telling me when she needs to go to the bathroom. I need to check my own frustration before going in to see to her. Every time. Today, doing that allowed for a small victory later. Something to always keep in mind when helping her navigate through the fun time of learning to consistently use a toilet. One day she will be able to. The big question is how soon and do I wish to be a helper or a hinderer with the process. I choose to be the helper.
But hey, I get to do this whole thing again with Cynthia in about a year. I pray that I can be as consistent with her as I have been with Esther.
God bless you and thanks for reading.
No comments:
Post a Comment